American Kenpo Forum
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Some ramblings on various crap...

Hope: Ah yes, to have hope, what a wonderful idea. It's one of those 'self-help' mantra's that ring throughout all the private therapeutic sessions, the political campaigns, the medical people who when one is stricken with a life ending disease, are told to repeat it over and over. It might be a good idea when were in trouble, but it's not the only idea... is it? Like some Kenpoists, it can be just adopting a forced illusion, and we must ask if it's the only way we can make an effort to improve our situations. Hope is usually offered when things aren't going well, so I heard alot about it during various trying times in my life, both martial and personal, one being related to the other. Was I deceiving myself with forced positive thoughts thinking it was really helping me? I dunno, maybe. I know that I was afraid that the constant "hoping" might cause me to sacrifice today for the possibility of a better tomorrow. Maybe, just maybe if I had studied the way to a better Kenpo mousetrap, I could hope to be famous. If I challenged the best Kenpo fighter to a bare knuckle contest, win or lose I could hope to have a 'tough guy" reputation, that way I could hope to be a legend. I don't think I'm addicted to hope, but I might be. Addiction is not a fact of life but a description about how we are choosing to live, so says Bruce Alexander. Now a days, I just hope I heal enough to try Kenpo one more day and learn or pass on some sort of reality to myself or the student who asks the questions. Is that misleading thinking? It might be helpful for me to do a little less hoping about the future and pay more attention to the present and to life by being fully engaged in all of my emotions and those of those around me. It's not job, it's not a hobby, it's a calling. I can't "hope" myself to a glorious and honorable end, I can only work (and very hard) to achieve it. That's the beauty of the calling, it's just keeps on...calling...

Posted Feb 04 2008, 10:00 PM by Uncle

Comments

sigung86 wrote re: Some ramblings on various crap...
on 03-24-2008 15:33

As usual UNCLE, you have hit the nail right on the head.  I'm awfully glad to know that I'm not the only one going through those dark nights of the soul.  I used to jump in the air, do a reverse spin and take an apple off of a volunteers extended palm with finesse and great accuracy.  Now, with recent developments on the physical front, snapping ball kicks are a real effort.  I'm hoping that the siren call will help to rectify that issue, so that I can go down fighting into that long dark night that so many have waxed philosophically about.

I am trying to keep a cool head about it.  At my "age" (I'll be sixty this September), I am starting over as a white belt in American Kenpo under a reputable, yet mildly sympathetic first Gen fellow.  I always wanted a Black Belt in EPAK but things never lined up that way for me until recently.  And I am beginning to believe that youth is wasted on the young.

Perhaps folks like you, and I (If I could even really put myself in the same milieu with you), are of warrior stock, and I don't think warriors, due to vocation,and avocation, ever really last that long.. At least you and I are not immortal, yet.

At any rate though, and no matter how it really ends up for us, we have:

a)  Outlived SGM Edmund K. Parker (with all due respect in this mention and his memory)

and

b) Had a generally glorious ride without all the faldera and fru-fru that seems to accompany that same ride as being performed by many of the much younger Kenpoists.  LOL!

Live long and prosper (to borrow a phrase), and hopefully we will be able to sit down in the warrior's hall on the other side and share some heavily distilled spirit, served in a Pagan manner by buxom, beautiful women who are simultaneously shining our shields and laundering our gi's.  

God Speed you, and bless you in all your endeavors.

Your Nephew and fan,

Dan Farmer

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